Wednesday

Trying not to be the joker.

I can't be doing things like that online. Learned my lesson once, you never know where the internet will take your innermost thoughts. So, I'd like to introduce my new obsession with this song, a little blake lively, and a few other C sharps and B flats. 


I found this on a picture online, and think it's the nicest thing ever. 

 "i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random txts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will 
love you. i will love you."


She's such a star



Just saw this and it reminded me of my wall at home. The one I used as an over-sized diary. The one crowded in colored words and painted lyrics that really looks like more of a plate of rainbow spaghetti than a collection of thoughts.  I did something like this on my wall , but the head had a hat on, and it was in acrylics, not watercolor.  

My mom was telling me about how she's planning on painting over the wall in my room to kick off its makeover into a new guest room. I always knew this day was coming, and I always expected to be sad about it when the time came. I'm not sad at all.  I know it's something silly to be sad over anyways, but in retrospect, i put a lot of time and energy and emotion into that wall.  It's kind of a creation of my high school years.  

I learned a lot from that wall, if it wasn't just the fact that sometimes you need a blank space to get a better look at all your thoughts. Having that wall not only helped me sort my thoughts out, but see them in all their shape and color.  It's not that i wrote sad things in blue and sunshine in yellow; I am much more of a design freak than that.  It's how each part of the wall holds a memory, or even a feeling, that by looking at it now, I can still sense exactly how it felt, remember the just what it was like at that time.

Going to college, I had to find another way to lay out my thoughts.  I needed a new wall.  Unfortunately it took a year, but now I have this little website.  Or- blog. And whenever I need there to be, there's a little white box, full of nothing, waiting for my mark of confusion, bliss, heartbreak, whim, or just plain stress.  It's certainly different from painting, but equally fun.  It's still mine, it's still easy, and it's still completely undefined. 

So I won't miss my wall.  I'm not sad, I won't regret its new clean paint, or pout about its disappearance. It's served its purpose, and I've moved out. I have a new wall.  
I call it Shanlife.    

Monday

thundaaaahh!!!!!

Somethin for your ears 


Somethin for your eyes


...booze chess. "the classiest way to get drunk." 
Check. Mate. 
Somethin for your mind

Most people are as happy as they choose to be.


Somethin for your free person side


Love and Liberty Thais painted dress


Love Birds maxi


Miles of Henley


Move West maxi


Cascade of Ruffles


Daughters of the Revolution striped tunic


Nightcap lace bodycon


Pretty in Peonies


Roaring Era 


Ruffles panel dress


Tah Loo hoodie


textured bodycon


textured hi lo tunic dress


Tropical Storm 


Wavebreak 


Hacienda bag


Yorika Hilltribe

And somethin else.

Sunday

bow chicka wow wow whatcha gon say


if i had this for bond lake.. wow. 

Saturday

Saturday morning, who's gonna play with me?

Took this myself (!!!)

Here is my delicious start to my Saturday. 
That sounded so Kellogg's. 
Earlier this morning, my mom came home, laid these out on the table and said, "Pick your poison.." ...


I picked orange. 
Seemed the most... potent. 
And after a laid-back, fun, long night at "Dumbo's" (that's what his -new- friends call him now-a-days apparently), I've got my day off. 
I've also got a whole big fat list of things to do today. 
Involving new sheets, new bed, a mirror and some nails. For wall decorating (yay!) 
Landlord's answer when we asked if we could hang stuff by nails in the wall: Yes.
Then, in the least sarcastic way possible, I have A LOT of parties to get to tonight. 
JL's, Grandbig's, housewarming, beer-tasting-cornhole tournament and of course, got to make it to He's Not.  
Talk about getting busy bebe. 

It's Saturday morning,
        And this ain't the place for me.
               I'm giving you warning baby,

        We got a whole big fat world to see.

Wednesday

OH BABY

                                      


I gotta get this. Once I save up $300. I'll be able to quickly and professionally edit photos and create digital artwork with natural pen control. What more could a this girl want? I've read up and actually starting to think it does more for me than a boyfriend iPad. Ok, what, that's impossible. But besides the natural pen control thing it can also do all this stuff:
  • New pen tip sensor technology lowers activation force and captures every nuance of pen pressure
  • 2048 levels of pen pressure sensitivity for precise pressure control
  • User-defined ExpressKeys™ & multi-function Touch Ring put time saving shortcuts, modifiers, scrolling, zooming, and more at your fingertips.
  • Illuminated ExpressKey displays provide a constant reference each Key's setting
  • Custom radial menus for rapid navigation
  • New Precision Mode simplifies detail work

    Well that was all copied and pasted.

    No packs of gum in the check-out line. No shopping on 6pm.com. No new nail polish colors. All those
    $3 /$30 add up, and I'm going to need as much adding up as my little Visa can muster. 

    Deadline: Spring Semester senior year? \
    My goodness that sounds entirely, horribly, irreversibly, tragically too soon.
    And not in the sense of time needed to save money.

    Tuesday

    Hey little fighter girl

    because we're skinny?

    Some people get their best friends bottles of liquor for their 21st. 
    I'm getting you this. 
    And coming over all the time.

    DIY? 

    S'more cookies!! This would be so summer-Tuesday-night-rager in Cary. 
     I picked Tuesday because Tay Swift picks Tuesday it's Tuesday.

     Trendy baby. Like us, but little. 
    I really hope i don't just think we're trendy in a dk way, so to avoid this i'm going to stop claiming i'm/we're trendy. And just hope it will go without saying.   



    Stop having a girlfriend


    People change. Memories don't. 

    Sunday

    Saturday

    Chapel Hill in the summer

    So many couples. So many questions.


    Where did you meet him? Why does he like you? Why him? Will you ever break up? What do you guys talk about? What does he do for you? Does he treat you with respect? Do you guys take picnic baskets to the quad often? What is it about you? Why you? Do you think he's sexy? Does he play with your hair? Does he talk to your family? Does he play with your little brothers? Does he text other girls? Does he know why you like frozen waffles? Why you hate cluttered refrigerators? What does it feel like? Can you imagine being without each other?  Why him?

    Thursday

    House sweet rental house

    I am so excited.
    and here are some things to prove it!


    This nice curtain holder adds some pretty pretty to any lazy drapes. And looks daringly convenient. 
    Hello and Goodbye Urban Outfitters. 
    That you sell wonderful things college girls will never be able to afford, i'll never come to terms with. 


    This little shoe tray is a cute, clean way to store your every-day shoes by the door. The dirt falls into the stones so it's not tracked across the floor. And the stones can absorb water on rainy days when you don't want puddles in the foyer. (!! foyer!! we have a foyer!)


    Can't say how much I'll be cooking, but with your own house comes your own kitchen.  And if you're going to have a kitchen, i don't think anyone could do without these cool guys.  
    Not only do they sit and hang out with you while you cook, they double as measuring cups. Savvy, I know. 


    Cute people have cute shower curtains. That's just the way it is. So, gather up your savings beer money and go shopping. No, Wal-mart won't do. Wal-mart never does. 


    White boards are so dorm-life. Paint some smooth stones with chalkboard paint and leave a nice chalky note for your roomates. Probably not one that says "Please get milk." What. No. Get your own.


    Landlords, sweet as they are, tell you very seriously not to pound nails into the wall to hang stuff.  From two years experience, 3M tape rarely stays put, and that tacky goo- HA. Solution- bend up some forks from Goodwill and make little frame stands.  People will marvel at your brilliance. And gosh, they're cute. 

    Tuesday

    SpontaneousTom-foolery


    Disclaimer: Flagrant and profuse bragging is only okay on blogs. As well as making things seem disproportionately, flawlessly amazing. Which it was.

    So- Try waking up to an Australian boy sitting on your feet playing this on the guitar, then spend the morning wondering where everyone is, making banana chocolate chip pancakes together and showing off your best karate escape-from-hold-with-knee-strike- move, and tell me you wont blog about it.
    .


    Tom and his "mum" came in for a few nights. They just left, and I miss them already. Little letter squares are still scattered across the coffee table and arranged in immature verbs and random words from a sleepless night of Bananagrams and [Australian] rum and Cokes. Youtube tabs of obscure Australian bands still clutter my desktop. The crumbles of leftover chocolate chip banana pancakes from this morning are still sitting on the counter, and the champagne and orange juice we bought at nine a.m. are all but empty bottles in the sink.   I think we took all of six pictures while they were here, but pictures seem insignificant in comparison to the actual time we spent together.

    Their spontaneous visit was wonderful for many reasons, but mainly because my mom was in an unwavering, light, happy mood for these few days. Having one of her old best friends, who is so far removed from her present life, was good for her to reminisce, gain perspective, and find joy in seeing that some people really don't ever change. Or at least that friendships don't. I hope my mom got a recharge by getting the chance to remember who she is.

    It's fun to grow up. You learn from the people who were there when you weren't but a day old. The people who knew you even when you were barely an idea. You see them see their own lives, 20 years later, before their eyes, and bask in the wonder and excitement of what it will be like when it's your turn to see the last 20 years of your life right in front of you. You realize you've got all these blank pages. And you get to take notes of what you can't wait to do the same, and get to secretly note to yourself what you'll do different.  And even still, while knowing all their struggles, the hiccups along the way, the mistakes they've made, you somehow think that when it's your turn to raise a kid, you'll know better.

    Then you're scared that when it is your turn, you won't have the slightest idea of how to make it as wonderful as they did.  You realize that even with as much thought as you've put into it, you're on your own, just like they were.

    Seeing the two moms on their own struck me with all these thoughts.  They and their husbands were all such a team back then, raising Tom and me, not knowing what they were doing.  How do 20 years break such teamwork apart?

    Resenting my parent's disintegrating relationship is a learning process.
    But appreciating the chemistry they once had to create such a perfect world for us at one point, that's in stone. It's those memories that, despite everything, make me want to have my turn one day.

    Monday

    Cripes!

    Song for reading, which I deem necessary. Whether you find it distracting or not. Now go listen and read! And cringe with me, why dontcha?



    Scene: Keys with K and Toad, sitting and eating a leisurely breakfast at Mcdonalds and seeing an old, old man sitting by himself staring blankly at his empty egg McMuffin wrapper and the remains of his melted milkshake.

    Run down: Noticing said man  has maybe, probably definitely has Parkinson's, and being the helpful, citizenly girl i am, asking the old man if, since I'm going up to the trash anyway, he needs help throwing his tray away.
    Old man sternly glaring straight through my sun-burned cheeks and grimly telling me that he's "not finished, thank you," leaving you to, well, bask in your embarrassment and decide how you're going to walk away from this one.
    /mortifyingly awkward.

    Cheers to this-
    -unexpected texts from cute smiling-idiotically-at-your-phone-while-you-fluster-about-as-you-try-to-figure-out-what/when-to-text-back- cute boys
    -cracking open a cold Dr. Pepper at a gas station by yourself because you were in the realm of falling asleep at the wheel.  Realm is probably inappropriate there. Don't think I'm going to do anything about it.
    -Coming home to hyperactive brother friend boys that are more excited to see you than your brother is. And letting them eagerly bring in all your stuff from the car. because it's all just so heavy! 
    -Cranking out a solid 3 pages for a response paper for homework due tomorrow.
    -The 5 days left of summer school.
    -The upcoming Friday that will host move-in day, LDOC (just as extravagantly anticipated as that of spring semester), bro graduation, influx of relatives, graduation parties (more exciting when you're not the one graduating- don't know why), and lots of Cary mom-bonding time (all right!)
    -Bacardi Arctic Grape Rum. and Sprite.

    Sunday

    Prettiest hostess if I've ever seen one

    Beach.
    Get live.
    Get hot. 
    Get silly.
    Get wet.
    Get sun. 
    Get tangly.
    Get hit on. 
    Get kissed. 
    Get extra desserts.
    Get laughed up so hard at expensive restaurants that everyone on the pier stops and turns to see what all the fun's about. 
    Mind you, hand gestures are always the dead giveaway. 
    Apparently we're fun. 
    Like we couldn't have guessed so ourselves.


    New thing: Guys on bikes. 
    /longboards. 
    SO HOT. 

    and C's new house? 
    LIFE IS HAPPENING.
    i love it.