“I actually attack the concept of happiness. The
idea that - I don’t mind people being happy - but the idea that
everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a
really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western
society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re
now seeing people saying “write down 3 things that made you happy today
before you go to sleep”, and “cheer up” and “happiness is our
birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is
the default position - it’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be
striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration,
failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and
victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us,
but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and
then as soon as they experience pain they say “Quick! Move on! Cheer
up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word
“happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness”. Ask yourself
“is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day,
it is.”
