"The earth without art would just be 'eh'"

I had so much to complain about on here but now that I'm here, I can't think of it.

From my window up here I watched a red car pull up with a girl in a purple dress who I can't see her face in the passenger seat and a boy in jeans driving. The boy got out and leaned back in the window to kiss the girl and probably said something like "be right back" because now the girl in the purple dress in sitting with the windows down and her bare feet propped up out the window and I guess she's waiting for her boy to come back. I still cant see her face, just her legs and her purple dress, but she looks happy and warm.  And she's making me want to sit in a car in the sun in the parking lot with my feet out the window. Instead I'm freezing in the lab that these people feel absolutely must be the coldest place on campus. The thermostat says 66. Chatter, chatter. That was my teeth.

Hell is gonna be so cool

You've got to play this game with fear and arrogance

Friday I've got a date at an organic Vietnamese restaurant with a biomedical engineering grad student from Duke.  If you'd like to know how this ever came about, you should probably ask in person. If that's really out of the question, which it is, I guess I'll just tell you on here.

It was kind of like when your standing at the bar with your friend and a short Asian guy with hair that was definitely styled with bedhead products comes up to you and says his friend's had his eye on you since you walked in. And you're like Aww! Awkward and creepy! But cool! A real live guy has been eyeing me! 

Then you realize this eyeing guy is either 12 or is gently struggling with his sexuality because no guy with balls ever worth dealing with would make his friend go up to you instead of doing it himself. But then eyeing guy appears. And he's tall and dark and averagely handsome and has bifocals even my great grandmother would refuse to wear.  I'm being awful, but plainly honest, and if I had any explanation for why I even started talking to this guy, I would be so set in life, I could graduate next month. 

But I don't, and who really cares. It's not like any other guy was pushing his way through the crowd to come up and talk to me.  (It's also not like any other guy is even the slightest bit as awkward and socially impeded as this one.) 

This guy isn't exactly someone you can explain with words. He's one of those people who has an air about him that you can't quite put your finger on until you see him again.  Which is why it's good he called the next day asking to take me out to dinner. 

I didn't even know what to say. So I said what I would normally say, and I said yes.  I think I'm so obsessed with people and the air they have about them, it didn't phase me that he wasn't fratty or adorable or sexy, I just wanted to be around him more, find out more about his air. And if there's anything worse than being single for the rest of your life, it's being a hippocrate. So for all the complaining and pitiful tweets I share with the world about #singlegirlproblems and sulking on my couch because some boy doesn't like me, I owe this date. Jesus Christ, it's not like we're getting married. It's Vietnamese food for crying out loud.

And with that, i leave you with an all-to-inspiring quote. Which I'm actually leaving more for me, but you can enjoy it, too. 

*I forgot to tell you his name. If I knew how to spell it.

"When everybody else is zigging, you should zag." 

Peace and blessings, 

Shan

^ha, just signed my own blog. Sweet, shan.

Ida Ekblad

This girl is amazing. Not only is she beautiful, she's got a mind of her own and enough talent to make you go up to your art ta after class when you look like a combination of death and homelessness and ask him what's her name again? Worth those few seconds of lost dignity. 

She's my current muse. 

Just making sure I shower before class next time. 

i can hear you love, through my radio, singin strong, singin slow.

http://www.photobygeri.com/?p=586

i lovveee love. lovelovelove. im in love with it.

and they were the ones like damn that's so sad, and we were the ones like nothing ever changes

"Someone once told me that if I could imagine myself doing anything other than music, anything, do it. Music is hard, you travel away from your family, your loved ones, you’ll be broke, you won’t sleep, etc. I thought about it, and I couldn’t think of anything else."
soja

I wish you were someone I knew nothing about

I saw you today
Wearing a shirt I gave you
You called my name out. 


Shan
The sound of it from your mouth.

Like throbbing radiation
Penetrating my ears
Dragging me by the shoulders
Down months, months


Stopped the dance in my heart,
not in my step.


cool shirt
I twirled around
You didn't stop the dance in my step

My ex-girlfriend gave it to me.

Ex-girlfriend.

Rushed over my insides.
Like eucalyptus, cough drop.
Black diamond speed

Thank God.

Love never asks you to lie

There is never gonna be another you and me.
Heard you cry.
Love never asks you to lie.

I am obsessively interested in everything and that gets expressed more through my eyes than through my ears

I've met me a lot.
I mean, I've seen myself, for 70 years, everyday, looked in the mirror, and wondered why I look the way I look.
So I am completely familiar with myself. But I don't really know what I look like.
I certainly don't know what i look like to other people.
And therefore I have to package myself in a way that reveals who I am.
So there's a certain packaging of human beings that takes place, in order to reveal ourselves authentically.
Or in order to pretend to be something other than what we are.


I will be using color. I will be using texture. I will be using the sequence of things.  Everybody knows that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.  It's a dinner. What few people realize, it only through the parts that the whole gets delivered.


If you walk around with a head of preoccupation, you're not going to notice anything.



I'm a very, very, highly-tuned appreciator.


Michael Wolff
new inspiration

Plain and grumpy

I feel like pouting. Maybe because it's Monday. Maybe because it's cloudy and cold and gray. Maybe because I stayed up too late watching Dexter when I could have been sleeping. Or because I have class tonight for 3 hours. Or because my face is breaking out. Or because I'm tired of the cracked screen and broken buttons on my phone.  Or because my toms are all of a sudden too small. Or because I haven't painted my nails in too long and they're long and chipping and annoying me.  And I hate that I read the daybook every day.  Like you aren't my life and i don't even know you. And I have homework I don't know how to do. And Z still doesn't like me nor do i even cross his mind ever. And I don't like pork chops but that's what we're having for dinner even though I'll miss dinner and have to get a late plate i don't want a late plate bc i dont want to eat pork chops ugh. So I have no idea what i'm going to eat for dinner because I'm sick of making pasta and yogurt and i don't have anything else in my pantry and I don't want to spend my money on groceries. So i'm going to sit at home and starve and be broke and do my homework wrong.

. 

Short Answer: Identify a person important to you and describe why they are important. This could be a family member or friend - we are interested to learn how you connect with people and create relationships.

I met Nina* my first year at UNC, agreed to share a room with her the next and now I share with her one of the truest friendships I have ever known.  We connected because we’re both about 6 feet tall, could laugh longer than we could ever study, and were both learning to revel in the single girl life we had both recently come to know. 

Just weeks after moving in, I ended a long-term, emotionally abusive relationship.  My days were dark, my heart was broken and I had no interest in anything, much less establishing a friendship with my roommate.  

Well, Nina had other plans for us, and started by waking me up with Starbucks’ Java Chip Frappuccinos in the mornings.  She’d take me out, make new friends for us, and show me funny videos to laugh at. She rolled her eyes on my bitch days, held my hand through my sad ones, and laughed with me through all the ones in between.  Pretty soon, I was showing her funny videos back, surprising her with Chai tea lattes, and was the one dragging her out on Thursday nights.  We were inseparable and having the times of our lives.  

Later that year, a stranger attacked and assaulted Nina. We were drowning in helplessness and didn’t know what to do next.  I couldn’t watch my friend suffer in the nauseating whirlpool of terror that had become her (and my) life, so I called a campus counselor and made her an appointment.  I gave her my phone to use as her own.  I talked to the police for her and answered all the questions.  I walked her to class and brought her dinner. I held her in her bed at night when she cried.  

Helping Nina heal helped me see how she had healed me.  I realized I was stronger, more compassionate and more trusting than I had been before. I was able to be there when she needed me. I was able to be the one to say, "It's okay, I'm here, and it's going to get better." These were all things I felt literally incapable of just months before. Nina turned me into the person I never thought I could be, and I am so thankful for that. I can’t imagine my life without Nina because not a day goes by that she doesn't show me in one way or another how to be a friend. 

*name changed 

Moms are cute

But girl don't let your dreams be dreams

Dream man. 

Please heaven let me find 21st century version of Hal Riney. 

You might perchance say I'm currently head over heels for a man of the 1950s. 

Which makes me try to talk like I'm from the 1950's, too. 

There's just something about that honey-coated voiceover that sure gets me swingin' and jivin'..

...a girl can dream.....

im a zombie sorority girl

We practiced early in the morning to late into the night and then early into the next morning.
We jumped up and down so hard you'd think we had a house full of hyperactive elephants.
We chanted like a tribe of Native American college girls.
We sang until we lost our voices.
We tied ribbons into bows.
And hot-glued them to frames.
While listening to Justin Bieber.
We ordered hundreds of dollars worth of food to our house at 3 a.m.
We laughed enough to start a holiday.
And yelled enough to resemble a big, dysfunctional family on drugs.

I'm literally worn out. And literally so happy.  Such a successful recruitment.  And 51 gorgeous biddies to prove it.  Here's to the end of NBNB
           ....and a weekend full of mixers, tailgating, and FOOTBALL!!

Welcome, betas, boys, and beer.

We made it!