I met Nina* my first year at UNC, agreed to share a room with her the next and now I share with her one of the truest friendships I have ever known. We connected because we’re both about 6 feet tall, could laugh longer than we could ever study, and were both learning to revel in the single girl life we had both recently come to know.
Just weeks after moving in, I ended a long-term, emotionally abusive relationship. My days were dark, my heart was broken and I had no interest in anything, much less establishing a friendship with my roommate.
Well, Nina had other plans for us, and started by waking me up with Starbucks’ Java Chip Frappuccinos in the mornings. She’d take me out, make new friends for us, and show me funny videos to laugh at. She rolled her eyes on my bitch days, held my hand through my sad ones, and laughed with me through all the ones in between. Pretty soon, I was showing her funny videos back, surprising her with Chai tea lattes, and was the one dragging her out on Thursday nights. We were inseparable and having the times of our lives.
Later that year, a stranger attacked and assaulted Nina. We were drowning in helplessness and didn’t know what to do next. I couldn’t watch my friend suffer in the nauseating whirlpool of terror that had become her (and my) life, so I called a campus counselor and made her an appointment. I gave her my phone to use as her own. I talked to the police for her and answered all the questions. I walked her to class and brought her dinner. I held her in her bed at night when she cried.
Helping Nina heal helped me see how she had healed me. I realized I was stronger, more compassionate and more trusting than I had been before. I was able to be there when she needed me. I was able to be the one to say, "It's okay, I'm here, and it's going to get better." These were all things I felt literally incapable of just months before. Nina turned me into the person I never thought I could be, and I am so thankful for that. I can’t imagine my life without Nina because not a day goes by that she doesn't show me in one way or another how to be a friend.
*name changed
