I was thinking today about the shift from last semester to this semester. It is a complete 180 and so fulfilling because of it.
Last semester. I used to spend most of my time in the J School with other
journalism PR majors, which is basically an
other over-generalizing way of saying egotistical barbie dolls. But it's not really over-generalizing because really every class I took there was full of "them." (One of my classes had 2 guys and another had a few athletes. But majority rules.) There was something so draining about "them"- the girls who act (i'll be fair, maybe they weren't actually) like they have been spoiled their whole lives while they seem to be here not for an education, but merely to cross off the "Carolina degree" item from their carefully written checklists. They also wear lip gloss to class. They seemed to have no depth, no ambition, no ideas. A personality that's concocted from a set of instructions. They seemed to share the same NYC magazine editor plans after they graduate, that is if they didn't end up signing out and taking a back seat to the lives of one of their follow-the-recipe boyfriends.
This semester. It's so many things. It's the immersion. Not taking art; living it. The fellow art majors who tell you ideas that make you feel uncomfortable, admire, talk about. The people who introduce themselves. Who want to know about you, and tell you everything about themselves, whether you ask or not. It's the deterioration of social walls. He's gay, but he's not gay. He's him, and something else. They're complicated and searching. Curious and sexual. It's the daily satisfaction. The personal reward. The feeling of impossibility at the beginning of an assignment that crushes you like a wave. It taunts and challenges and tortures you while you work until it melts into a feeling of achievement that follows like the calm after a thunderstorm. It's so perfect. I love it here.
