Let's sparkle things up

This blog has be dreadfully uninteresting for the past few days. Weeks. So I've taken a spectacular* half hour out of my day to sit down, turn on The Weeknd and give you something to look at.
*This word automatically sparkled things up

So. I'm not going to any formals this weekend. This might be is the first year I've been invited to more than one, and with each location I hear I'm missing out on, I think of all the great outfits I could wear on this weekend that I am missing out on and that no guy cares that they're missing out on.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) I have a prior commitment that I may or may not be more excited about (MY FIRST ART SHOW *breathe/panic/squeal*). However, I won't lie that I am slightly disappointed I won't get to pick out 3 days and 2 nights of weekend-getaway outfits for a no-planning/booking-on-my-part-involved weekend getaway. With an open bar.  That said, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't still indulge in shopping for 5 day/night outfits I would wear for a few days in D.C./Baltimore/Charleston/Savannah if I were free to spend the weekend partying with a bunch of boys in bowties.

So if you are, in fact, going to a fraternity formal, and aren't a freshman  don't want to wear norts and sorority t shirts all weekend, you could take some notes, too.

Scroll on, my indie little friend.

Day 1: Friday (probably)
Scene: Road trip to Formal location (i.e. hotel, beach houses, condos) ~2/3/5 hours
What to expect: Sitting, car pictures, stopping for dinner (Could be Taco Bell, Could be a sports bar with live music and a patio), drinking heavily upon arrival

The Outfit:



BUT WHY: This jersey knit dress is comfortable and darling. This way you don't have to change into another outfit once you get there and you'll seem low-maintenance and cool. The pretty embroidered neckline makes a simple dress unique and the sleeveless design makes it adaptable to any plain cardigan if it gets chilly (or you're too awkward to ask the driver to turn off the A/C).  Layer bracelets to highlight its boho style, or wear with a gold watch to highlight its trendiness. I personally love these strappy flat sandals, which are fun and, well, flat, which is of utmost importance for anyone with a date who is kind of the same height, like if he's wearing shoes and you're not..  The fringy beaded purse may not be socially acceptable in a highly-concentrated Vineyard Vines setting, but any black or neutral purse or bag (Favorite: Dooney and Burke crossbody) is essential for your go- phone iPhone and/or emergency Chapstick. Note: Some fraternities hold a semi-formal cocktail on the first night. Don't wear this to that.

Day 2: Saturday
Scene: If you're at the beach, you'll be on the beach. Beginning at 10 a.m. If you're in a pretty town, you'll be out on the pretty town, probably on the water.  Maybe on a boat. If you have a legit hotel, you'll be in your hotel, probably by a pool.  Wherever you are, you'll be drinking. And you'll likely miss the transition to when it's actually become a pregame for the actual formal dance this night.  Try not to be hungover. You probably will be.

What to expect: Sun (whether it's warm or not), alcohol, balcony/porch pictures, brothers bonding in the name of the order of (insert fraternity name here).

The Outfit:


BUT WHY: This silk terry poncho dress has a deep neckline for ultimate cleavage/tanning action.  Guys love that.  I'm not one, but they do.  It also comes with a removable belt that ties in the front so people can't make fun of you for wearing a blanket and have at least one curve.  Guys love curves. But you can't give it all away, yet. The fabric is moisture-absorbing so you won't be sopping wet.  Note that you'll be envied by the girls who have wet boob marks on their t-shirts.  I actually don't know if guys love that or not. But I love the color blocking.  I think these colors really bring out a complexion, even if you don't go to a tanning bed and your skin is still a light apricot hue. ARE YOU WONDERING IF THIS MATERIAL IS RECYCLED? It is! How delicious. Like the homemade LITs you'll be making with the other girls while your dates are off being idiot drunk college guys. Note: This hat is recommended and awesome 


Night 2: Saturday night. The Formal
Scene: Gorgeous yacht with open bar, gorgeous veranda venue with open bar, it will be gorgeous and it will (probably) have an open bar.
What to expect: Dance your heart out, wild child.

The Outfit:





BUT WHY: Seriously, why not. Note how there is no question mark there. Because there is no question this is dress is a knock-out, and no question you will look great. For starters, the diamond cut-out back is just the right amount of revealing.  It's short so you can show off your legs even if you don't wear huge heels.  You don't even need any jewelry. Is has more shape around the waist than a shift dress, but the cute I'm-not-trying-too-hard front and neckline of one.  Wearing your hair up will compliment the design of the dress while wearing your hair down will compliment the color of the sequins. And talk about sparkling things up.  Those sequins will make you the mermaid goddess of the dance floor.  As long as you don't act like a sloppy drunk, this dress is a sure shot.


Day 3: Sunday. You can be hungover now.
Scene: Clean-up (help with that), pack-up (don't leave anything), drive home (oh, God.)
What to expect: No one wanting to do any of that, having to pull over on the side of the road to settle your stomach, hopefully a good playlist, the temptation to put on your t-shirt and those god-forsaken norts. DO NOT. You are Blake Lively, not a desperate clone.

The Outfit:



BUT WHY (-NOT MY NORTS?): Because these are way cooler.  Shorts make your thighs look fat in the car anyways. These Mahaloa-patterned cotton pants are... cotton. And loose. And cool. (did i mention that already?) If you're trying to sneak into your charcoal leggings, just grow a pair (of breasts?) and substitute these instead. Any tank works (and probably matches in a non-matching way) with these and you don't even have to have pretty sandals to pull them off. Honestly, they'd look just as cute with Rainbows or Toms.  And if you realize an hour into the drive home that some of your jewelry from last night is still on- no problem. (See, if this happens while you're wearing a t shirt and shorts you'd look like a slutty drunk wannabe Ke$ha. And not even in an interesting hipster way. Just drunk). Anyway, if you stop for lunch or dinner somewhere, you'll look presentable and cool. Ah, yes. These pants. Are really fucking cool.

Find these outfits at freepeople.com and your new formal dress at bcbg.com 
Trusty faves.

Editor's note: Sorry if you fell in love with either/both of these brands and are poor